Blog – Guilt

Noah and the Roll of Toilet Paper

When Noah Wesley was a toddler, probably one year old. He did something I didn’t think was possible…he lied to his momma. We were upstairs, I was putting away clothes and he was supposedly playing in his room, which was right beside mine. I finished putting away the clothes and walk into the hall bathroom where I found Noah standing at the toilet and an entire roll of toilet paper sitting in the toilet.

“Noah, what did you do? did you put this in the toilet?”

And to my surprise, that chubby sweet blue eyed, towheaded, precious little thing looked me right in the eyes and answered, “No”.

“No? I repeated, “you didn’t?”

“No” he said again.

“Well then who did?” I asked.

“Daddy did,” he answered.

“Daddy that’s at work?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said.

A precious bold faced lie, if there is such a thing ;)…no remorse, no admittance, no guilt.

The Pen and the Purse

Myself as a child?…a much different story…

I was 5 years old,  hiding behind the couch with the evidence in my hand..it was a light blue plastic purse my mom had bought for me. And although she had explicitly said that I could not write on it with pen. I had done just that; blue pen drawings all over it! What was I supposed to do? There was no denying it. The evidence was in my hand! The guilt was terrible. I knew I had done wrong.

Guilt. Shame. Condemnation. Let’s talk about that…

If we believe on Christ. If we have asked Christ to forgive us. We are free from condemnation. We can live with a clear conscience knowing that He has forgiven us. Knowing that He wants us, needs us to be free.

Guilt – what it is and what it isn’t.

I believe that we have muddied up it’s definition along the way. We use it synonymously with shame.

Let’s make a clear distinction between the two…

Guilt is a cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person realizes or believes that he or she has compromised his or her own standards of conduct or has violated a moral standard and bears significant responsibility for that violation.

Shame  is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced.

The Difference Between Guilt and Shame

The reason this is important to know, is because guilt in and of itself is not bad. Without it we would truly live in a terrifying world. Think about never feeling bad about doing bad. There would be no restraint, no empathy, no conviction.

Good Guilt   (Conviction)   Luke 15:11-32   Prodigal Son

For our purposes this morning, we will call good guilt (conviction).  Let’s look at an example of where feeling guilty for wrong action led to repentance and healing.

The Parable of the Lost Son

11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. 13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father.“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

Explained: The son knew he had done wrong, so he returned to his father, confessed his sin and accepted the forgiveness of his father.

Deadly Guilt   (Condemnation)    Matthew 27:1-5   Judas

Now let’s look at an example of how Guilt becomes something more; how it can become shame and condemnation.

Judas Hangs Himself

27 Early in the morning, all the chief priests and the elders of the people made their plans how to have Jesus executed. 2 So they bound him, led him away and handed him over to Pilate the governor.

3 When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. 4 “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.” “What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.” 5 So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.

Explained: This is a tragic example of the despair and self deprivation that can grow as a result of unresolved guilt.

As long as we are alive and have breath, it’s never too late to come to God for forgiveness and cleansing from sin. Sadly, Judas, who had been given the opportunity to walk in close fellowship with Jesus, completely missed the most important message of Christ’s ministry: redemption.

ONE of the HARDEST lesson in life is understanding the importance of LETTING GO; of forgiving ourselves.

[We] refuse forgiveness, like it’s something to be earned – Unspoken, Who You Are.

Yet Christ is calling us, waiting for us only to ask and receive it.

Listen, I know that this can easily sound like i’m saying “just get over it”.  Hey, I understand that there are things that are very difficult to get over; that there is a process to getting over some things. And no, I don’t know what you’ve done, or why you’re holding on to it. Neither can I make you accept the forgiveness that Christ freely offers.

But allow me to ask you one question: Is this how you want to live the rest of your life? Feeling this way?

If you’re answer is no, please considered talking to God about this today. He wants nothing more than to set you free from it. God’s conviction is for our good. It’s a calling to repentance. It is not condemnation. Guilt can turn into shame if we allow the enemy to lie to us and tell us that God can’t or won’t forgive us. There is nothing farther from the truth!

Romans 8:1 Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus..(NIV)

Romans 8:2  A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death. (MSG)

So let me ask you again: Is this how you want to live the rest of your life? Feeling this way? Do you want to respond to God’s forgiveness like Judas? Or do you want to respond like the Prodigal Son?

No matter what you’ve done, our God is a God who forgives and redeems our past. Whatever the enemy has tried to steal from you, tried to lie to you about, God can make it good. He can bring healing.

Psalm 51:2

Wash me clean from my guilt.

Purify me from my sin.

Prayer:

Father, may we walk in the freedom you offer us. Make us each a powerful testimony of your love and your forgiveness. Redeem our pasts. Place your purposes in our hearts. Awaken our hearts to what you are doing in the world that we can share in your presence.

Resources:

http://www.whatiscodependency.com/ho-to-overcome-guilt-and-forgive-yourself/